Friday, August 6, 2010

Night Fourteen: In Which I Encounter Plastic Giraffes And Obese Girls With Bad Skin

1) I am at my job. Two of my coworkers are sitting in the back doorway, looking out over a lake which surrounds the entire building and extends all the way up to the door. I am tempted to push them both in, but decide against it. I then push them both in anyway, for some reason. One of them floats face down, and the other fails to surface at all. I regret my decision.

2) I am at my job, which is now a fancy banquet hall instead of a deli. We have on display "quiche", which actually look more like opaque plastic modern art sculptures. One is a stylized airplane taking off, and the other is a tall giraffe. They are ordered almost immediately.

I leave to use the restroom, and find a labyrinthine, elaborate ladies' room with ethereal swirls painted on the walls and maze-like folding wooden doors around each toilet. I ask someone about them and she tells me an inspiring story about the designer.

I return to work, and have to assemble another giraffe quiche. I find this task nearly impossible and instead hand the customer the loose pieces and instruction manual.

3) I am attending some sort of contest in which superlative titles are awarded. After a long and grueling selection process, during which I somehow offend a small Indian boy and his parents, I am chosen as the most generous. My prize is the chance to squeeze a rather pimply and obese girl's blemishes for a set period of time. I am initially excited for this opportunity, as squeezing blemishes is one of my favorite past-times, but her blackheads turn out to be so odious and severe that I can't continue past the first one. My male companion takes over. She suggests that he try and find a "weevil". He quickly locates one - as it turns out, a weevil is a sort of corpulent bug that bores deep into one's pores and leaves a gaping hole once removed. I am revolted and yet intrigued.

-End Scene-

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