Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Night Twenty-One: In Which I Clone Myself & Attend An Unorthodox Funeral

1) I am with a female friend. We are shopping in the clearance section of a clothing store. I try on a pair of overall shorts and they fit perfectly, except my butt is pretty much hanging out of them Britney Spears-style so I put them back on the rack. We somehow (and this part is extremely glossed over) manage to create clones of ourselves. (Mine resembles the adult version of Dren from Splice). I try to teach mine to speak and she learns a bit, but not nearly enough to go out and socialize in public. She is often a bit stubborn and immature. We share a bed, and one night when I try to climb in she is taking up the entire bed and refuses to move. I begin to become slightly uncomfortable with the whole thing and consider my options of getting rid of her, but know that it wouldn't be right. One day I realize I haven't seen my friend's clone in a while and ask whatever became of her. I get a sketchy excuse and suspect something unsavory.

2) I call Dunkin' Donuts and attempt to place an order. They tell me they'll be closed in about fifteen minutes for a funeral, which I then realize I have to attend. It is for a girl my age. As I enter, I notice that the tub of water for baptisms is awfully cloudy and murky. I sit down and pull out a bag of sour gummi worms and begin eating them as the service progresses, while wondering if it's a rude thing to do. I then notice a young boy who is eating sunflower seeds and feel a bit better. The brother of the deceased and his fiancee get up to perform a dance to (mourn the dead or celebrate their engagement, I'm not sure which). I notice the boy left his bag of sunflower seeds on the ground and they have spilled all over the aisle where the couple is dancing. As the dance becomes more intense, they end up rolling around in the seeds and making a huge mess. They soon don Transformers costumes and perform a choreographed dance "fight". It is really rather well done and exciting to watch, albeit not typical or necessarily appropriate funeral proceedings.

2) I am riding on a bus, except that I am actually laying face-down on a sort of gurney. A morbidly obese man sitting behind me unabashedly grabs at my ass. I turn around and tell him off and he claims it was "only a joke". I tell the busdriver what happened and he orders the man to leave.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Night Twenty: In Which I Encounter Evil Spirits and Use An iPad

(Note: I am experiencing this dream in the first person, and yet it is also not about me.)

1) My husband has been experimenting with invoking and creating various spirits and energies. He has been successful with those of animals and such, but has mistakenly created a beast-like spirit that he can't contain. He finally decides to scrap the project once and for all, doing away with this awful spirit. He asks me, for my own safety, to leave. We exchange a tearful goodbye and I go off and play with an iPad (since I obviously have nothing more important to do or worry about).

Next, I am in a room with a bunch of other people. The spirit has overtaken my husband and has also somehow affected loved ones of the people I'm with. One woman's husband is outside of the building and wishes to speak with her. She goes outside, despite our advice not to, and comes back acting dazed, robotic, and untrustworthy. It is obvious that she is somehow possessed. We realize we are in danger and flee from her, running through the night. At this time, fireworks begin to explode in the sky above us. I think to myself how it is strange to think of someone celebrating, lighting fireworks, while we are fighting for our lives. Finally, (and I am unclear as to how this happened), we are free from danger and decide to form a support group to help us deal with the trauma we've been through. The dream ends with all of us sitting on a blanket outside and watching the fireworks, although there is an air of sinisterity about the whole thing.

Night Nineteen: In Which I Dream About Lucid Dreaming

1) I am at work. It is probably about one in the morning. It is pitch black outside and all the lights inside the restaurant are off as well. A customer comes in and orders a bagel. I put peanut butter on it instead of cream cheese, and he is upset enough by this to kidnap me. I am riding in the passenger seat of his car while he navigates unfamiliar dark roads and makes overly personal small talk. He finally drops me off in a secluded neighborhood. I get out of the car and he drives off. I am next to a house that seems to be hosting a party, as I hear loud voices and music coming from inside. I venture inside and find that all the lights are off in the foyer. I move on to the next room and it is dark as well. The house is like a maze and I can only navigate one room at a time. There are no connecting halls. Finally, the last room I encounter is a sun porch. As I approach I can see that there are lights on and I enter, hoping to find help or at least some idea of where I am. However, despite the lights and noise the room is completely empty. I exit and run down the green, grassy front yard of the house. Fearing that someone might have seen me, I quickly run across the street.

I find myself at the bottom of my boyfriend's driveway. I am getting anxious, having just remembered that I am meant to be at work. It is probably about two in the morning at this point. I climb the driveway and enter the house. I find that the entire family is awake and seem to be having a serious discussion of some sort. I explain that I need to get to work but have no car, and ask if anyone could give me a ride. When they all seem rather apprehensive and act as though I interrupted something important, I mention that I am in fact having a dream; so for all I know my car has appeared at the bottom of the driveway since I last checked.

I head back down the long driveway, focusing on the fact that I'm dreaming. I strongly believe that if I will my car to be parked at the house, it will be. However, it is not. I head back to the house and explain this. My boyfriend's father, who is rather irked at this point, asks me why, if I'm having a dream and all, I don't just wake up. After a bit of effort I do, and

2) It is late morning and I am late for work. I finally arrive and everyone is annoyed at me. Breaks are hours off schedule and they have been incredibly busy all day. A female co-worker makes a racist comment directed at two men and they glare at me, mistakenly believing I said it. I head into the back room and begin testing a carton of eggs for damage by gently twisting each egg in its cup. As I perform this task, seeing only the white-on-white of the eggs in the cardboard carton, I hear the voice-over of a male co-worker reading alout a persuasive letter he's written concerning whether black people will ever really be able to understand white people (his opinion: no.) I am shocked and offended at his ignorance, but listen and say nothing.

3) I am in my bedroom at home. My mother comes in and begins going through my drawers, asking whether I have any Benadryl and condoms, as she is out of both. I tell her I don't and she asks me to buy some. I say that I won't, and after a brief argument she accepts this.

-End Scene-

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Night Eighteen: In Which I Act Depraved

(Note: Okay, so this is the internet, and for art's and entertainment's sakes, I should put my self-consciousness aside and describe this dream to my faithful readers. Right? I'm sorry. Please don't judge me. I hated dreaming it as much as you'll hate reading about it.)

1) I am at my place of employment. (Note: It occurs to me now that I dream about my job far too much and should either get a new job or a new social life.) A friend comes in to visit and we sit and have a pleasant chat for a while.

2) I am with a friend of mine in a basement lounge sort of room. She tries to talk me into seducing her dog for a steamy three-way (girl-on-girl-on-dog, I suppose), and although I am uncomfortable I eventually agree. The dog, however, is either uninterested or suffers froms some sort of erectile dysfunction, and it doesn't work out.

3) I am in a college dorm and preparing for a huge exam in a class that is some sort of conglomeration of history and chemistry. I am running late and rush to get out of the room. Finally, I exit and slam the door behind me, but as soon as I lock it, the bathroom door (which is the next door over) swings open. I shut that, and the dorm door unlocks. Finally I manage to get them both closed and rush to the classroom. As I sit down to take the exam, which is in essay form, I realize I have forgotten both paper and pen, and am forced to scribble my answers in Sharpie ink around the outside of a Diet Pepsi can. The teacher is none too pleased.

-End Scene-

Friday, August 6, 2010

Night Seventeen: In Which I Realize My Boyfriend Is A Movie Star

1) I am watching a documentary on television about the production of an upcoming movie. As I watch more of it, I realize that it's a movie my boyfriend had mentioned having a small role in a few months back. An older woman opines on a love scene she filmed with him, and comments (rather inappropriately, really) on his sexual prowess. My friend arrives just as the trailer begins. I can't wait to see my boyfriend's character introduced, and we watch anxiously. Finally, the climax of the trailer strikes - he turns around, snaps his fingers, and begins dancing around skillfully while beating the shit out of several nearby high school bullies. Come to find out, he is playing the bad-boy heartthrob of a main character, and the movie is actually a musical. In a second clip, he descends on a giant dumbwaiter into a room lit with an orange glow, and sings angrily about ennui and angst while brooding about. The lyrics I remember: "If this is what life is, I want mine to be over".

After the trailer ends, my friend and I are in shock. I tell her I'm very glad she was there to see it with me because this way, I'll know I didn't just dream it. I begin to think about all that will come with his fame: travel, piles of fan mail from teenage girls, huge demands on his time.

2) I receive a call from a high school classmate that I was never friends with and haven't (in real or dream life) ever really talked to. He explains that he has been missing for several years and, since reappearing, has no idea where he's been or what happened to him. As we talk on my cell phone, I am walking down the main street of my hometown. We exchange pleasantries and make small talk, and I am feeling surprisingly comfortable and beginning to enjoy the conversation. I comment on how Republican protesters and canvassers seem to have overrun the streets and he laughs.

A ways down the road, I come across a dancing pony show being performed under a tent in treacherous, slick mud. I put the call on hold momentarily and sit to watch the show. I realize there is an animal treat sitting on my knee and call "Here, horsey, look what I have!", to no avail. After an awkward silence I realize the animal I'm addressing is actually a pig. I move on, pick my cell phone back up and ask whether my classmate is still there (he is). My service begins to fade, his voice is breaking up and I hear my own voice echoing back when I try to speak to him. I am wading through deeper and deeper trenches of mud that are filling up with water. My boyfriend walks by, wearing army fatigues, and slips into a deep trench and begins swimming away. My classmate, on the phone, finally confesses that he called to give me an important message -

-End Scene-

Night Sixteen: In Which The World Has Ended

1) I am living in a post-apocalyptic society with a small group of survivors. We have made our home on the outskirts of a rainforest, near some caves. We gather fruits and berries to eat and at first have adequate supplies. As time (likely years) goes by, the climate is becoming less and less habitable, and food is scarcer. Our best scavenger (who is either an ape-like human or a human-like ape) is losing her eyesight and can no longer distinguish between fruits which are potable and those which are poisonous, so that we often can't even eat most of what she gathers for us. Eventually (likely after more years) we are living in an arid, barren desert, and resign ourselves to the fact that we won't survive much longer. Also at some point, we use hovercrafts.

Night Fifteen: In Which I Live Out Supressed Sexual Fantasies, But Not Really

1) I am at some sort of family function with my boyfriend, and his seems to be the family in question. I decide to leave, so I mount a motorcycle I find and attempt to leave with it. I am fairly successful in operating it, eventually remembering to change gears and such, but can't seem to find my way back onto the road. I soon realize I'm actually riding around an indoor shopping mall. I dismount and start asking around for directions. I finally get my bearings and then can't find the motorcycle. I wander until I find it, and then realize I have lost my bearings once again and can't find the road. I instead accept a ride from a tough woman driving an SUV-esque bike.

(Note: Someone might be offended by this. I was kind of offended, and it's my subconscious. Sorry.)
2) I am at home, in my own bed. I have arranged for my boyfriend to sneak in and "rape" me. I leave a roll of duct tape near the door and wait. He shows up, and has apparently taken my proposal a touch too seriously. He slaps me in the face, tranquilizes me, and forces me to drink dirty water in which dead spiders are floating. He has also brought a plethora of small plastic figurines, which he is treating like real people, and which somehow eventually become real people.

3) I am at my grandpa's house. I put a large balloon inside my shirt and pretend to be pregnant. I am berated by the rest of my family for mocking my mother, who I then realize is actually hugely pregnant. We are preparing dinner and listening to a CD I've made, which consists of Schubert and Debussy. My grandpa commends me on my taste in music.

-End Scene-